An interrupted life...

I want to live an interrupted life.
Where my planned and structured days are turned on their head by an invitation to live more fully.
Where joy slips in uninvited and messes around with times and hearts until what is left is a riotous mass of unexpected delight.

I want sunlight to interrupt my house bound day with come hither glances that draws me out onto the grass to skip and frolic as if I'll be young forever.
I want music to halt me in my tracks and compel me to dance or hold me secure in tears.
I want the tug of a child's hand or the lilt of a child's voice to pull me from sense of duty to imagine , to laugh, to dream.

I want work to interrupt my play rather than the inverse, where work is merely time spent on one favourite thing, and play a way of life.
I want flowers to intrude abruptly upon my purposeful stride, an invitation to focus on the journey rather than the destination.
For faces to become a daily miracle, a surprise reserved for the blessed, a smile to be a quick awakening from a soul fallen asleep.

I want Jesus to surprise me.
For his thoughts to interrupt my own.
To see him in a truer light, to see things before unknown.
I want to be astonished by the fingerprints of God that are scattered all over my life.
I want my life to punctuated by exclamation points of grace, by shouts of unexpected mercy.
I want to live a life reeking of true humanity until the smell shocks me and the world out of the lingering stupor we often find ourselves.

I want to live.

Freedom to think or thinking we're free?

Freedom to think.  It is a commodity that has been highly prized throughout the ages and a freedom that has been hard won.  If I were to ask the general population around me whether we have freedom to think what we want here in Australia, the consensus would be that we do indeed have that freedom.  But do we?

Information is a tricky thing to define.  Many a debate has occurred (even within my own friend group) about putting a value on information and ideas.  Our democratic society would claim that we have a right to information about the world around us in order for us to make better decisions in our voting.  So are we getting this freedom in information?  I would argue that we are not.

I am a pre-service teacher (which means I'm currently doing my teaching degree) and I have had the opportunity to work in schools, the very foundation of our society, with young people.  As a science teacher, I have had the challenge of teaching evolution to students.  Not only am I required to teach evolution (which I have no problem teaching it as the theory it is) but I am not allowed to teach the theory of intelligent design, despite the overwhelming amount of evidence that supports it.  If people have a right to information, then why are we limiting the information we give to our young people?  Could it be that we are scared that they may make the decision for themselves of what to believe? Could it be that the information we are not able to teach could change everything? And if it could, why are we so afraid?

I'm sure that many would agree with me that dictating what a child should be learning about, in the act of omitting the facts that would disagree with our societal foundation, is a form of oppression.  It is a an act that not only diminishes the intelligence of human beings in being able to form a judgement, but that dooms them to a morality of hopelessness and depression.  For what hope can there be without purpose.  What enjoyment is there to working hard if the goal is merely to die with the most money? Why would we wait to enjoy the intimacy and preciousness of sex if we are merely animals?

Why is information not shared?  Why is it that we teach children to be unsure of their sexuality, and fail to tell them that every sexual connection they make with someone will form a permanent bond with that person for the rest of their lives?  Why is it that we tell children that they are formed by a cosmic accident and fail to tell them of the evidence to show the intelligence and love in the design of their bodies?

Why do we teach children not to think?

Because once people are allowed to think, they are ultimately led to Him who created them to think. The world will not permit people to think because once we start thinking, we know we are more then just atoms accidentally thrown together, and that our collections of atoms are accountable.  And the one thing the world fears more than anything else, is being accountable for the evil actions it has committed, continues to commit, and will commit in the future.

So is there really freedom to think or are we just free to think what society tells us?

The hidden thought...

I was reading today a blog about a teacher who was helping her students through hard situations and something struck me.  A reader left a comment saying; "It's sad to read these, but it's even sadder to think that this sort of poverty is still around these days." These days? What is this reader trying to say? That these days are different to the days 100 years ago.  When I read this I was struck by how much evolutionary theory has infiltrated societies mind.  'Evolutionary theory you may ask? How does evolutionary theory show in a simple comment like this?'

It is simply the assumption that we should be better by now.  That the world should be fixed up by now.

That we should have evolved out of sin.

After all, a million years ago our ancestors were beating each other's brains out with clubs right? Look how far we've come, from being mere animals to being moral humans.  It is a reasonable assumption if you start with the idea that there is no significance to our existence, that there is no legitimate reason for the world being the way it is apart from the assumption we haven't reached that evolutionary stage yet where life is better.  And yet have we changed so much even from the "dark ages" where people were being bled of their life's blood under the instruction of "qualified doctors"? If we look at where we are now, is the world any less tragic? I would say not.  Our families are disintegrating with the silence of parents.  Our children are alone and disconnected and can not relate without a screen.  There are hundreds fleeing wars they have no part in, being fought with machines they couldn't even read the name of.  Depression is rising, divorce is rising, addictions are rising and we say that we're better? At least we assume we should be.

What if there was a different start? What if we started with the premise that the world fell at the beginning and that sin and pain was increasing from the beginning.  What if we were not becoming more evolved, but more like animals with our hate and protection of those nearest us? Then things begin to make more sense, then we begin to see a picture that represents the world we see better.  If we start with a world, with a people with a profound knowledge of a God and watch as the world walked, and then ran away from that deity, then does it not make sense that the pain of the world is increasing?  When we hurried away from the idea of God, we hurried away from the idea of ultimate morality and accountability.  Without God there is no standard, just a physiological happening that we hope accounts for what is our conscience.  When we watch as history split from it's conscience is it such a surprise when we see the world as it is today?

So what now? Are we left hopeless?  To read the facts and see no hope of human intervention... yes. We are hopeless. But there is one who reached down with divine human intervention.  When God saw the world corrupt at the very beginning, he knew the plan to save it. With the ultimate personal cost he had a plan to redeem it.  So how can we save our society? We can't, because we are not evolving to be better.  Instead, if you know Christ, you are conforming to his standards, to his conscience. With a new understanding of morality, then we can make better decisions.

As Christians we must stand against and guard for that quiet influence of a worldview that eliminates God.  We need to know where the philosophies of our world come from so we do not get sucked into the pretty packaging of a false morality the world cannot even live without destroying itself.

Dear me...

Dear younger me, 

I wanted to write in order to share some gospel truth with you.  In your mind at the moment, the world swings between a devastatingly hard place to live, and paradise.  But this is for you in your darker moments.  

Sweet child I'm asking you to stop looking in the mirror and judging the girl you see there.  Nay, I'm begging that you would stop that.  Do you know how it will fill your life with insecurity?  You need to see that it's going to affect how you look at yourself now that you are 20.  You also need to know that it gets better. Oh I'm not talking about our looks, although with age comes a certain maturity and style.  I'm talking about how we see our self.  If only I would lend you my eyes for a second so you could see the new reflection.  We look pretty similar but there is more to this reflection.  A depth that is not explained by hormones or study.  I can see a sadness in the eyes that wasn't seen before.  I can see a trusting heart that has been betrayed a few too many times, cried too many tears.  I can see an awareness of my sin more potently than ever.  But there is something else mixed in.  With the sadness there is a knowledge displayed of ultimate joy.  There is the lingering fingerprints of the comfort of the Lord.  There is a big part of your heart for your friends.  The true friends who haven't betrayed you and never will.  And I can see a depth that I didn't possess when I was you. My knowledge has grown, not only of the sin and depravity in this world but also my knowledge of grace and mercy.  I can truly claim; 'where sin increased, grace increased all the more.' It hasn't been an easy couple of years, but I know now that God has been there every single step of the way.  

With much love, 

Erin 

What's new?

I just posted my last blog post and I realized that I am such a different person from the 16 year old who started this blog years ago.  This blog has been sorely neglected and I can safely say that it is not widely popular but it is such a unique way to present ideas that I would be crazy not to utilize it.

So what has changed in the last two years since I last caught up on this blog?  I have graduated from my undergraduate and work as a sleep scientist; which is fancy language saying that I literally watch people sleep for a living.  I have completely changed my life plan from being a doctor and changed it to being a teacher.  I still struggle with this decision.  I have traveled Europe for two months and experience the exhilarating feeling of being thrown completely out my comfort zone. I have grown independent, experienced heartache and most importantly grown more mature in my faith.  And in all the growth, I can honestly say; Christ reigns over all and he is good.

Neglected Knowledge

This is my first blog post in a really long time, and I feel that so much has changed from when I last posted.

I am reading through Proverbs at the moment, and as always it is taking me a really long time to progress.  I started Proverbs last week and I am currently in chapter three! But the reason for the lag is not a negative one.  No, instead it is the glorious hesitation that comes with savoring a fantastic meal.  You want every bite to leave it's impression permanently on your taste buds so you wait between every bite.  Every time I go to read I am caught by something anew.  What is it this time? What so captured my attention that I got my computer out at 11:00 PM in order to write it in a blog?  It is this thought; has the focus on wisdom that is so emphasized in teachings about Proverbs overshadowed the command to "get knowledge".  I'm not saying to elevate the "getting of knowledge" to a point where the gospel becomes all head knowledge. No, I am wondering if maybe we have overlooked the value in knowledge and understanding.

Proverbs 2:6 says this; "For the LORD gives wisdom, from his mouth come knowledge and understanding." Over and over in Proverbs there is the exhortation to "get wisdom".  But more often than not along with this command is this; "gain understanding" or "get knowledge".  In my experience the modern western church emphasizes so emphatically the wisdom.  My interpretation of this until so recently has been of this saying is to feel the guidance and leading of the Lord in a tangible way.  When I read the command to "get wisdom" in isolation from the "get knowledge" I am left with a sentimental hope that somehow knowledge will fall from heaven into my life.  What if by ignoring the "get knowledge" I am actually ignoring the entire way that I can "get wisdom"?  Such an emphasis in the church is in airy fairy faith.  But maybe the way that we can firmly bank this faith, firmly root this wisdom is by studying. Maybe by studying the word, studying books, opening our eyes to the worldviews surrounding us, maybe then we shall finally gain wisdom.

I have been taking a large interest in Philosophy recently and studying and pondering metaphysics.  In a book that I am reading called 'Saving Leonardo' the author (Nancy Pearcy) calls for a new way of constructing our faith.  This "radical" way of viewing faith is by coming from a wholistic standpoint.  In the entire story of the gospel there has been intense spiritual parallels displayed in very physical events.  In the original Passover the gospel was connected by showing Jesus as the lamb slain.  In the testing of Abraham in sacrificing his son there is the spiritual parallel of the Father God sacrificing his son.  All throughout the bible there is two intertwining stories, that of the physical and that of the spiritual.  These two stories are so closely woven together that everything begins to have spiritual significance.  Therefore, if God is wholistic, if He is in the sciences as well as in the arts then most surely He is the gaining of knowledge as well as the gaining of wisdom.  He has set up a way that we can expand our wisdom by physically studying here on earth.  Please do not misunderstand me.  I am not claiming that just by studying we can obtain godly wisdom.  This would be an absurd claim, all wisdom and knowledge comes from God as Proverbs claims.  All I am proposing is maybe the church should start encouraging real thought, real study and celebrate the intellectuals, rather than shying away from that person as being a head person as opposed to the heart person.  We need both, and we all individually need to strive for both.

A journal entry...

Hey Friends!!!  Forgive me for being so absent from the blogosphere... I have no excuse. :P

So I'm going to begin by asking a favor of you... or rather ask you to do a favor for yourself.  If you have time... please read 1 John 3:19-24.  As an explanation of this post I have to tell you that I journal a lot... like A LOT. The way I journal is letters to God.... because that is how I acknowledge to him that he knows everything... and often it is so helpful to write down prayers.  This is an entry I wrote earlier this month:

11th July 2012

Dear Heavenly Father,

The concept that I have your spirit is so massive.  The fact that you abide in me just blows my mind.  I do believe in Christ Jesus but Lord I so often fail at loving others.  I have but a  hint of how much you love me, and the enormity of it does my head in, it really does.  You say that if have confidence before God we will receive what we ask for.  I ask as Solomon asked, I asked for wisdom.  I also ask Father that you will give me your love for people.  I can be so much in my head Lord that I lose my compassion. Help me to love by prayer for people, give me joy in serving people.  May I have a servants heart and a humble mind to better serve you and others.  Guide me, keep me, show me your for me.  As you promise; "For I know the plans I have for you' declares the Lord, 'plans for wholeness and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." (Jeremiah 29:11)  Keep me in the palm of your hand.
Thank you so much for the all the blessings you pour out on me.

Your girl;

Erin

I hope friends that this encourages you as it did me.  Keep in the way of the Lord!!!

AWOL.... again

Hi Friends!!! 

I'm beginning to pick up a trend in my blogging habits: wait until everything is due and.... BLOG!!! I have exams coming up and assignments due but oh well.  They can wait. 

So I have been musing on some things the lately, and for those of you who are older than 17 you will probably chuckle with amusement... in fact if you are 17 or younger you will still probably chuckle with amusement. :P  

Have you ever felt the process of growing up?  You can see the changes in you and it gives you a bit of a funny feeling.  I am getting more independent and this makes me want to be five again.  It's scary and exciting all at once.  I want to be older and I am having a blast as a young adult, but responsibility is creeping up and it is an exhausting feeling.  I am almost half way through my degree and thinking about having to move away from home for medical school, or going overseas for three months, while being extremely exciting, are also a little sad.  I will leave my family, my carefree days behind me and have to take full responsibility for my actions. 

Oh. Boy. 

The challenge for me is to trust God through it all and to depend on his amazing faithfulness and mercy to get me through.  I will grow up, but I will not leave my childhood behind... I'll take it with me. 

Blessings friends!!!  

P.S. Another little glimpse into the mind of Erin: 

Twitter posts!

Okay so I discovered this twitter feed called I Do That Too and seriously some of them I couldn't stop laughing for.  I thought I might share my favorite 20 here:  


1. The guy who discovered milk....What was he doing with that cow?.


2. Not being able to finish a sentence because your laughing about the ending


3. i hate it when i forget something i really wanted to say.


4. Accomplishing something before the microwave reaches :00..


5. Thanks phone, for being strong every time i dropped you..


6. Dear Math, Grow up and solve your own problems..

7. When I was a kid I........no wait, I still do that.

8. I always wonder what I look like from someone elses eyes..

9. Why are you sleeping in class? maybe because i wake up at 6 AM to come here (so true!)

10. IT WASN'T ME!!!!! Oh that........ yes that was me.

11. Pandas are the least racist animal, they're black, white AND asian.

12. Why is Monday so far away from Friday, and Friday so close to Monday.

13. The feeling you get when you understand something in math class..

14. When i read ur text messages I can hear exactly how you would say it.

15. Dear Homework, You're Not Attractive and I'm Not Doing You

16. I forgot your name, so i'm waiting for somebody to say it.

17. Comebacks that make the whole room go OOOOOHHHHHH'"

18.Telling inanimate objects to STAY when they look like they're going to fall

19. I'd rather do nothing at your house than at mine

20. That Moment of joy when you see your food coming in a restaurant

21. Dear sleep, I know we had problems when I was younger, but now I love you

22. mom, i could be dying and you're not answering the phone

23. I can't hear you, so ill just laugh and hope it wasn't a question

24. Open fridge, nothing. Freezer? nothing. Might as well try the fridge again. (study sessions anyone 

:P)

25. No, I'm not being immature, I'm having fun. You should try it

26. I love how my best friend and I can say one word, and crack up (:

27. My level of maturity changes depending on who im with.

28. I Will Go Slightly Out of My Way To Step On A Crunchy-Looking Leaf

29. I Wish Music Played During Epic Moments of My Life and Not Just in Movies.

30. No I'm not lying, but when you look at me like that, how can I not smile?

31. Laughing when someone falls

32. paper beats rock? ok,i'll throw a rock at u & u defend urseself with paper

33. I hate saying hi to people and they don't see you and you feel stupid

34. i finally stop laughing... look back over at you and start all over again

35. If the world ends in 2012, i've wasted my whole life in school. . . lovely.

36. Not finishing a sentence because your laughing too hard about the ending

37. BUT MOM...why would any of my friends jump off a bridge

38. Tripping, then looking back at what tripped you with an evil glare.

39. How did Barbie manage to be a doctor, model, actress, teacher and singer?

40. Life is getting too complicated , i wanna be 5 again

Yeah yeah I know there is 40, I meant favorite 20 x 2. :P  Just as a side note there is the odd tweet that has some bad language :( so I apologize. 

Have a wonderful day friends!!! 

So friends...

Hi again,

I have to leave for uni in 1/2 an hour so I just quickly wanted to share a short film my brother shot for a youtube competition.  It cost him $300.00 to make and he made it in 10 days.  Pretty good if I do say so myself.  Anyway, enjoy!!!!

2 more days....

Saturday is the day!!!!  My exam will take all day and hopefully I'll have a bit of time to write a proper post up. :)  Until then, enjoy these talented kids...

Too fun!!!

In peace friends!

Erin

My Clever Brother...

So, no I am not coming out of hibernation yet, I just wanted to share a video that my clever brother (who is studying media) made for our amazingly creative friend's birthday party.  Check out the blog here as well she is pretty awesome. :-)

 

Heya friends,

Sorry for the lack of posting, but I'm currently studying for a huge exam called the GAMSAT (Medical School entrance exam) that I'm sitting in 2 weeks!  I promise I won't be AWOL forever. :)

Stay in Christ!!!

P.S.  Just a bit of insight into me and my daily experiences. :-P

Sarah Slean

Discovered Sarah Slean from this lovely bloggers blog!!

Love this song!!!

In. Love. With. This. Song. 

Hope you enjoy it as much as I do!!!

Shadows

My Dad read something to us on Monday night while we were waiting for dinner to cook.  We were all sitting around the table drawing on a piece of paper that covered the table.  Our doodles were all unique and we were just listening.  I must confess that when Dad sat down and started reading from his large theological book, I held in a moan.  I did not feel like being sermonized to at that moment.  So to say the least, my mindset wasn't the cheeriest.  But as we read on I couldn't help but feel the unwilling admiration for the beauty of what my Dad was reading.  Morgan G. Campbell published in 1903 a book called 'The Crisis of Christ'.  Now I don't have the foggiest of what the rest of the book says but the portion that my dad chose to read to us was all about our very person hood being in Christ.  One thing stood out to me as being so beautiful.

Morgan G. Campbell revealed this idea.  When you look at a shadow, you can recognize the basic form of who you are, but you can't begin to figure out the complexities and beauty of a person by their shadow.  It is the same with God and us.  We are his shadows, showing a resemblance of his being (as we are made in the image of Christ), but shadows of the real thing.  For example, we have emotions.  Since we are made in his image, God also must have emotions... but think on this; his emotions are pure and righteous, while ours are tainted by the fall.  We are merely shadows of him.

I have mentioned this before that I study Biomedical science and the body is a beautiful work of art.  So if we are so incredibly complex and intricate and beautiful, how much more so is God?   What a beautiful concept to think about.

Stay in Christ friends!! 

Wisdom...

'Teach us to realize the brevity of life,

      so that we may grow in wisdom.'

~Psalm 90:12 (NLT)

Wise.   A word that I often associate with men with long beards with a pipe, spouting pithy quotes that make everyone feel rather dumb.  

"This is my 'I know the answer to everything' look..."

But this is what the bible says: 

'The fear of the LORD

 is the beginning of wisdom,'

~Proverbs 9:10

I wonder if the the fear of the Lord has anything to do with the fact that He has control over the brevity of life.  Our Lord knows us intimately, including when we were created, and when we will die.  

Every week there is a horror story on how someone died.  We had three teenagers die in a  horrific car crash last year.  They were driving home from a theme park after a youth group event, around 10 at night.  A drunk and angry man ran a red light and smashed into them.  The driver survived but his best friend, girlfriend and another boy from his youth group died instantly.  These teenager's parents did not say goodbye to their children imagining that that was the last thing they would ever say to them again.  No one who dies in an accident is imagining that that day was the day they would meet their maker.  

Imagine for a minute that you knew without a doubt that you were going to die today.  How would that change your actions?  Would you take a little more time thinking about that cutting remark in response to your sibling/ parent/ friend/ partner? Would you take time to let people know that you love them? Would it perhaps produce more wisdom then you would  generally have?  The briefness of our days is something this world hates to think about.  We as Christians need to have the view that this day may be our last, and respond in wisdom. 

This is an ongoing battle for me.  So often it's easier to act like we have all the time in the world, that we have time to tell this person about Christ, that we have time to forgive that person, or ask forgiveness from that person.  That we'll have time.  Time is one of the few things we can not secure.  It is beyond our reach, beyond our control.  Praise God that he is the only one trustworthy enough to control our time. 

Remember the past, immerse yourself in the present, hope for the future my friends. 

God bless!

Creative Blog!!

So I just started a new blog over here.  It is just a little fun and there is only the one post at the moment.  Hope you enjoy.

Post again soon!!!

I Fear...

Fear. 

I have very rarely felt the terrifying feeling that we mostly associate with fear. The fear of hanging from Mt Everest from your little finger terror is something I (thank heavens) have never experienced.  But I experience fear everyday, and it is even more irrational then my fear of cockroaches.  

'What if I don't look alright?' 

'What if I say or do something stupid.' 

'What if I fail?'  

It all whispers all the time.  These sort of thoughts wouldn't be that bad if that is all they remained... thoughts.  But these thoughts start to dictate to my actions.  I won't attempt that because I'll look stupid.  I restrain from showing my true character because I'll be seen as a dork.  I'll cover my insecurities because I don't want to be seen as some weak insipid little girl.  Fear keeps me from being who the Lord created me to be.  How often do I run out in the rain and make up some crazy dance when the impulse comes upon me? How often do I tell someone exactly what I think and not what I think they want to hear?  When do I sing while walking in the park?  How often do I let myself cry, not because there is something specifically wrong, but just because I feel like it?  How often do I pour my heart out to someone with what is really troubling me?  Fear keeps me in restraints.  I often examine myself and want to break out of my conservative world, to really show people who I am, so why don't I?  Fear. 

This is what our Lord has to say about my fear... 

'For God gave us (a.k.a Erin) a spirit not of fear 

but of power and love and self-control.'

2 Timothy 1:7 (ESV)

How awesome is that.  Not  a spirit of fear but one of power.  I do not need to be afraid of anything of this world for I have a spirit of POWER and love and self control.  Let my potential to serve Christ not be hindered by my spirit of fear.  

God bless friends!!